ITS MY WEBSITE And i can post any stupid shit i like.


SO LIKE EARIER.... I WAS IN THE BATH TUB stoned and masterbating, and i had a bunch of fingers in my bum and i was like... i had this weird lil split personality thing... were i was hurting myself, but i was getting off on LETTING MYSELF BE COMPLTELY TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF by my own hands tho.. like i was like

me: "ow !!! oh .. Stop.... i gotta stop.....that just hurts..."
me: " oh i dont fucking think so dear... im gonna sperad that lil pink open wide and i want you to fucking hurt for me..."
me: "owww!!! holy shit !!! ow !!!!!"

so like... the thing that was getting me off was the getting used part.. the sadist part i was just doing to have someone to sadisticly pleasure them self with me..

mostly thst always been my biggest complaint about masterbation.... that my partner , no-one, just isnt fucking in to using me, when sexually my fave thing is just to give myself completely to my partner (and my equallly important but less dominant other favorite part is were i just get mutually squirmy !!!)

so.. uh.. really being stoned is helping me to be a more greedy agressive (yet compassionate) imaginary partner for myself...

and i also ran speaker wire in to the bathroom so i can listen to doom metal !!!!, while i'm stoned masterbating in the bath...

so listening to the doom metal and hruting that ass i had this thought...

i think i'd really like to get fucked and thrown arround by some demons from hell...

i mean like... i'm a light weight devil worshipper, i'm technically a hell-imp inhabbitng a human vessle whos origional soul i destroyed in small peices...

and have always had theis werid crush on oderus urungus (center)

cuz .. he's like a punk n stuff.. y'know.. kind of the dumb but lovable thug deal.... and hes a reanimated pile of necrotic gore and hes a revolting monster and evil and has a maniacl LUST for violence permeate all aspects of his being..

but yeh... i'm way to sissy weak to take a demon lover... i'd be broken in to bits in no time...

but honestly.. no shit... its really a goal of mine and someting i activly werk at to eventually be able to give myself full sexually to some manifestation of absolute horror/ darkness (but with a tinge of compassion y'know wut i mean ?? the ultimate beauty being beauty that has had to proove its metal... the most deepest beauty being the beauty that was lifted from th eugliest of places ??? thats the kind of sex i'm interested in...)

so yeh... i'm not ready yet to be the fuck slave of the creatures of absolute darkness but .. y'know.. maybe if i really get on the training i could be there in like 5-10 years...

there being impaled and bludgeoned hal;f to death on the end of some demons festering gigantic cock while his semon mixes with my blood and he calls me a filthy fuck hole and then cuddles me all nice and calls me his sweet lil girl........


oh: i had ice cream for dinner !!! woot !



YEP. A Library Gallery of ancient Trans Rants from back when i was young and angry. Thank to the Bio-s for trammpling my will and spirit !!
With my soul crushed I can now function as a blank eyed drone in society and not cause any trouble!!
yay !! I'm so emotionless with no soul and I'll never feel again !!!

THIS WAS WRITTEN years ago when i was young and sensitive (now i'm old and jaded). Fuck off with the hurt feelings hate mail. Stop disagreeing with me or i'll ride my bike to your town and hit you. Alot.

Get off estrogen and dose on Psychmeds

I think this link goes to the index but i havent tried it.